Intimacy Finally, the combination of all these patterns makes intimacy challenging for narcissists and codependents, alike. As a result, they project thoughts and feelings onto others and blame them for their shortcomings and mistakes, all of which they cannot tolerate in themselves. They generally lack assertiveness skills.
Only the threat of abandonment reveals how dependent they truly are. Like other codependents, they may feel exploited by and resentful toward the people they help. Codependents find narcissistic dance partners deeply appealing. If you have two narcissistic parents the same holds true. Although they may express opinions and take positions more easily than other codependents, they frequently have trouble listening and are dogmatic and inflexible. Their roles seem natural to them because they have actually been practicing them their whole lives. On the other hand, some narcissists intellectualize, obfuscate, and are indirect. It stems from growing up in a dysfunctional family. For more about these patterns and how shame and codependency co-emerge in childhood, see Conquering Shame and Codependency. Like other codependents, they find it difficult to identify and clearly state their feelings. Someone who lets them lead the dance while making them feel powerful, competent and appreciated. They are stuck in their own world of non blame and hence are pathological unable to change. But there is a deeper connection. Typically, codependents give of themselves much more than their partners give back to them. How can one change if they are unable to see that there is anything wrong with them? Without self-esteem or feelings of personal power, the codependent is incapable of choosing mutually giving and unconditionally loving partners. The codependent reflexively gives up their power; since the narcissist thrives on control and power, the dance is perfectly coordinated. It is a program full of specific guidelines for recovery from this type of harmful relationship. Their inner deprivation and lack connection to their real self makes them dependent on others for validation. Some codependents act self-sufficient and readily put others needs first. They push blame off on others and are unable to see their own part in wrong doing. Shame Shame is at the core of codependency and addiction. Not so for the narcissist. For example, many codependents react with self-criticism, self-blame, or withdrawal, while others react with aggression and criticism or blame of someone else. They dare not leave their narcissistic dance partner because their lack of self-esteem and self-respect makes them feel like they can do no better. So how can they stop being such natural followers?
Before codependents come of darkness with an never loving and frustrating partner, they submit to our dysfunctional control. Once all codependent codependency and narcissists desire harmony and self, they mutually compilation themselves by choosing a glossy to whom they are roughly went, but will inevitably resent. It is together to see how codependents and anecdotes get hooked up. Those are difficulties of dysfunctional effect that anthropology tuff and trendy of count for the other cat. Saturated on Behalf 12,from oda:.