But I'm here to tell you that life has surprises in store for all of us. There are a lot of different theories and approaches to decision-making and risk assessment, but most boil down to something like this: The goal is to do the best we can with the abilities and resources we have to make good choices when facing risks, to limit situations with risk we know or suspect we're just not ready to deal with or can't or don't want to handle, and to gradually get better and better at evaluating our risks and making sound choices with them over time. We're also very unlikely to have lives we like very much, or that have the things in them we want. It's very common to cope poorly with stress, or to react with things like avoidance, denial, or panic, all reactions that can color our decisions, or even cause us to react by refusing to make our own decisions at all, leaving them up to someone else or just "letting fate decide.
Having had an abortion and been fitted with the implant, she finally had it removed and went back to relying on the pull-out method. Several of my friends avoid the pill because of concerns about weight gain, despite the fact that studies reveal it to be minimal. When you're potentially taking big risks, it's crucially important that the person you consider the most in your choices is you. I can understand young people in their teens feeling too embarrassed or intimidated to broach the subject of condoms, but I expected women who are a bit older to feel more confident and assertive when it came to contraception. Everyone -- everyone -- does. The other thing that can happen when one person in an interaction is passive and ditches responsibility is that the other person either gets all the credit for something that goes really well or, more commonly, shoulders all the blame when things go poorly. Everyone disappoints others sometimes, everyone makes mistakes, and feeling bad about it isn't going to do you -- or them -- any good. In other words, to help you clarify your thinking, and what you want and don't, what is or isn't right for you if, say, you were thinking about entering into a sexual situation with someone, think instead about NOT doing that, about walking totally away from that opportunity. Sex educators seem hellbent on convincing young people that condoms can be sexy and often provide them with tips and tricks to make the experience more erotic. Emma Alfonso, 26, business owner, single Emma Alfonso: Where, when we do a pro and con list, the pros of taking a risk far outweigh the cons. We risk falling down in order to stand up; we risk getting turned down for a job or by a college if we apply. And I have no idea how we, well educated in the dangers of unprotected sex and way past our teens, have got to this stage. So, while there are some issues around all of this that can be developmental and can be about different abilities, a lot of this is also cultural. That can be one of the risks we take with sex, by the way: You have to trust me on this. If someone else's partner can ditch them after sex, we have to know ours could, too. Same goes double for growing up in environments that are highly controlled, then winding up in one with little to no external control -- like college -- and being expected to figure out how to do all of this by and sometimes about the seat of your pants. One of the toughest things about evaluating risk and making decisions which involve risk when it comes to any kind of sex is often that it is a "hot" decision-making situation, and we may have to think fast and make big decisions in the moment, decisions that ideally, we'd probably take a lot more time to make. If we work on it, we tend to get better as we grow. Anything that can happen to someone else can usually happen to us. That young people engage in risk-taking behaviour will be a surprise to no one, of course, but what is interesting is that we're seeing such behaviours in those who are mature and responsible in other parts of their lives. But sometimes, we don't know what we're risking, or think that a level of risk is different than it is. When we're making sexual decisions, it's often in a "hot" context, even in relationships or interactions where everyone is being thoughtful and kind to each other, and the general environment is positive and healthy. As consumers we must remain vigilant in our efforts to thwart the sale of these and other harmful drugs sold over the Internet by being cautious and smart in our decisions.
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