Considering all of these factors can help to determine if what you are seeing in a child is normal or something that is in need of additional attention. Does the child engage in aggression or verbal expressions of anger after the behavior? A couple of years ago I was over at my best friends house and we were in her living room ready to go to sleep and we were just talking and she asked me if I masturbate and I told her I did and then she started to rub her clitoris and then she started to rub mine. When frequent masturbation happens in these situations, it is best to provide support for your child and distract them with other activities. Too, even though what you're describing is very normal and common, I'd encourage you not to get too hung up on normalcy as something to concern yourself with overmuch, anyway.
Does the sexual behavior cause physical or emotional pain to the child or others? Mutual masturbation among same-sex friends or groups of friends in youth is something that's been going on for a long,long time now. Gender is only ONE facet of a person: Does the child engage in aggression or verbal expressions of anger after the behavior? Young people have a sexuality that is still forming and finding its own feet, and like any other aspect of identity development, part of figuring out what any one person likes or likes best tends to mean some experimentation and the desire to explore from a place of wide-open possibilities, as well as available opportunities. As you set boundaries for your kids regarding their sexual behavior, the use of resources and information on the stages of sexual development are key in understanding how to react. Most folks will be somewhere in the middle, even if they have stronger attractions -- be they emotional or sexual -- to any one gender or biological sex, or even if they only choose to have partnerships with people of a different gender. They are curious about why their body is different from a parent or sibling of the opposite sex. When it comes to sexuality, because human sexuality is SO diverse and individual, what's important isn't that we are all "normal," but that our sexuality feels authentic and good for us, that we can express it with others in ways which are physically and emotionally healthy for everyone involved, and that whatever we do with others makes us all happy. So, while sexual exploration isn't anything close to required for us to figure out sexual orientation and our whole sexuality, sexual exploration with partners is usually part of sussing out that puzzle in time. It is important to remember this when engaging with a child with sexual behavior problems. Does the sexual behavior interfere with social or family relationship? However, based on everything we know from the study of sexuality and sociology, that's a false assumption. The goal of the assessment is to reach an understanding about the origin of these behaviours. Even if it had not been normal, it'd still be okay if it was something that was a positive for both of you. Not all sexual behaviors, even uncommon ones, are an indication of abuse. A couple of years ago I was over at my best friends house and we were in her living room ready to go to sleep and we were just talking and she asked me if I masturbate and I told her I did and then she started to rub her clitoris and then she started to rub mine. Until I taste a tomato, I can only have a limited idea of if I really like tomatoes, and in addition, if I taste one and like it, it may only be because I got an amazing tomato. Is this behavior increasing in frequency, intensity, and intrusiveness? We would be happy to speak to you more about what you are observing and help you to create a plan to keep your child safe. Understanding the reasons behind a child's sexual behaviour is important. If you have questions or concerns about the sexual behaviors of a child you know, please call us at or Because we live in that culture, it's also often assumed that heterosexuality is a sort of default setting: I can know I like the smell of tomatoes, the look of tomatoes, the things tomatoes tend to go with before I actually eat one. Children under 5 years of age may masturbate in public because they are not yet aware that this is not socially acceptable. For a child, this is just curiosity. Are the sexual behaviors directed at younger children or are children forced, coerced, or tricked into engaging in the sexual behaviors?
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